Little Things -Spoby story-
by that-spoby-shipper
Summary: With all of the verbal abuse from her family and mind, Spencer begins to feel like she is no longer in control of her life. One day she realizes the only thing she can control is her body, so she turns to self harm. Will anyone find out before it is too late? * Contains self harm!*
1. Toxic

"Spencer you are such a _failure _and a _disgrace to this family!" _

" All you are is a _mistake!"_

" I wish we had _never had _you."

" The world would be _so much better without you!"_

" I wish you would be _more like Melissa!"_

_" _You are a _sorry excuse for a human being, you should not even be alive!" _

These are the words, said by my family, that ran through my head as I collapsed on the floor in my room, so weak from crying that I could not even support my own weight. If it were not for the people who actually treated me right in this town, I would run away right now, its not like my parents would notice or care!

First there is Aria aka the other half to my sparia, for as long as I can remember Aria has always been there for me and she is in most of my favorite childhood memories. Aria gives me the best advice on subjects like love, family, school, ect. I know I have a sister but Aria fees like more of a sister to me then Melissa does! I honestly do not think I could have survived this long in my dysfunctional family without some of the advice that Aria gave me! In my close group of 3 friends I am closest to Aria, and I think that says something speaking of how close all of us girls are! I hate the thought of Aria being sad and I do not want to do anything reckless that could end up affecting Aria or any of my friends.

_But would anyone really care if I disappeared? Maybe my family is right about the world being better without me…_

Next there is Emily my shoulder to cry on. Emily is the kind of friend who puts your needs before her own, she is the kind of girl who would take a bullet for her friends if it meant them getting to live another day. I remember Emily being the friend I went to the _one time _I finally broke down, I knew doing that was wrong because I was supposed to be the strong one in our group, I would not have gone to one of my friends if _he _was in the picture at the time that breakdown happened. My fondest memory of Emily and I was actually the day I broke down in front of her because I remember how hopeless I felt that day but somehow Emily managed to make me smile during my dark moment.

Then there is Hanna, my bubbly blonde. Hanna can always cheer people up and she doesn't even mean to, it's just a side effect to her bubbly personality. I remember being so stressed over a test one day but when Hanna came over to my house I actually relaxed just with her being in the room, she has that power! Hanna is the best at giving relationship advice but I thankfully don't need that because I have already found the love of my life and, luckily, he is the sweetest guy ever!

Now the story ties back to _him _andby him I mean, Toby Cavanaugh, the love of my life. Toby is the best boyfriend any girl could want not only is he adorable and hot at the same time but he is also the kind of guy that would never even _think_ about yelling at his girlfriend or being rough with her, no Toby is always so gentle and he is always there for me, god I wish he was here right now! I trust Toby with my entire life, with him I feel safe no matter what situation I may be in, I know I have made it a rule of mine to never break down in front of my friends but with Toby I know I can break down and he will stay with me until I am calm again. In fact if Toby were here right now I know that he would be holding me right now whispering things like "_baby it will be okay, I promise, I love you", "I'm here for you baby, just let it out", _or even a simple "_I love you" _ and I know if I could hear any of those things coming out of his mouth right now I would probably feel a lot better.

Sadly I cant always run to Toby… this is my own battle I just need to know how to fight it even when I am done fighting.

Thats when it dawns on me…

_They may be able to control your life but they can not control your body._

Suddenly I have an overwhelming urge to cut myself so I jumped up and ran over to my desk where I kept a pencil sharpener, after trying a few times I finally was able to pull out the razor blades that were attached to the sharpener and that is when I did it…

That was when I made that first toxic cut

About 10 minutes had passed and I had already made about 15 cuts on each wrist, I knew I should stop and save the pleasure for tomorrow and the days after that but it just felt so damn good.

After I cleaned up the mess I had made I got changed and I fell asleep wondering how I would survive tomorrow if I barley survived today?

**AN: WOW I am so sorry that I went MIA! I just finished my grade last week so now I will be able to post a lot more! I am almost positive that I will not continue my other story for a while, but I will take the time to work on this one! Tell me what you guys think! Reviews are greatly appreciated! **


	2. The fight, the call, the cut

Spencer's POV:

I woke up today at around 6am and I immediately reached down to feel my wrist, the cuts were still there, it was not a dream.

I was about to throw on a short sleeve shirt but I remembered I will be with my friends at school today and they can not see behind my mask, so I threw on a long sleeve shirt and a jacket of Toby's. From outside I heard the horn of Toby's truck indicating that it was time I go to school, I tried to get out the door before my family noticed me but I was too slow.

"Spencer it is 100 degrees outside! Why are you wearing long sleeves?" I heard my mother bark at me.

"Since when do you care about me?" I asked her with no emotion in my voice, if I had learned on thing from this family it was never show emotion.

"I don't! What I do care about is our family's reputation, how might our neighbors act when they see you wearing this odd shirt and your stupid boyfriend's jacket?" My mother snapped.

I scoffed at my mother's rude comment and began to walk out the door, making fun of me was one thing after all I did know a way out, but making fun of the love of my life was another thing, he is my rock and support and there is no way that I will lose him!

I knew Toby was waiting for me so I faked a smile and hopped into his truck.

"Hey sweetie!" Toby exclaimed when I hopped into his truck following his greeting with a kiss.

"Hey babe," I said trying to hide my emotions from the conversation I just had with my mother.

"I was thinking that maybe we could ditch school today and go back to my place," Toby suggested.

"Toby that sounds amazing, but I have a really big test in french today." I say with a pout on my face.

"Thats fine, as long as you stay over for the whole weekend," Toby bargained with me, as he began to drive in the direction of my school.

" I would love to stay over this weekend! How about you pick me up from school today and then we can just go straight to your place," I suggested.

"Sounds like a plan! But wait Spence won't you need clothes?" Toby asked me as he pulled up in front of the school building.

" I'm sure I will find _something_ to wear at your place!" I said without leaving any room to argue, although I know he won't because believe it or not I know that he secretly loves it when I wear his clothes.

**Time skip **

After 2 agonizing periods of math and then 2 agonizing periods of french I finally got to go to see my friends, the only bad part about this situation is I am going to see them during lunch and I am positive they will know something is up if I do not eat.

I arrive in the lunch room about 2 minutes later and I find my friends sitting at our usual table, I walk up to the table and sit down but no one notices me! I begin to feel that my parents are right, maybe no one actually cares about me… nobody except for Toby.

"Yea he was being a total jerk about it like he didn't _have _to use that voice with me, he just _did_! I hear my small friend complain as she pokes around in her salad.

"What happend?" I ask in mock concern, still aggravated by the fact that they did not even notice me until now.

"Oh hey Spence!" the 3 girls say very distantly, were they getting sick of me? Why are they being distant?

Right before I leave lunch, I feel someone grab my arm, I immediately spin around to see Emily standing behind me with a concerned look on her face…

"Spencer are you okay, you did not eat lunch and you seemed really distant," Emily said with concern in her voice.

_That was it, I am so done with people blaming everything on me!_

_"_Me distant? No, that is completely false! You are the people being distant, not even noticing my presence until I have to speak up!" I roar at Emily as tears form in my eyes.

"Spencer- wait!" I hear Emily call, flabbergasted, as I run into the closest girls bathroom.

I knew there was no way that I could stay in this building any longer so first I pull a razor blade out of my pocket and make a few cuts on my wrists, relieving me, and then I pick up my phone and dial Toby's number.

"Hey Spence, is everything okay?" Toby asks me right when he picks up, due to me calling this early in the school day.

"Umm- no not really. Me and the girls got in a fight and I-I really need you r-right now" I say, when I spoke those last few words my voice cracked and I began to cry.

"Hey baby don't cry! I am leaving my house now and in about 5 minutes I will be there to hold you." Toby reassures me.

_God he is so sweet, I defiantly do not deserve him, he could do so much better then ugly old me! _

About 5 minutes had passed, so I finally get up the courage to walk outside, when I get outside I see Toby's tan truck pull up in the parking lot. When Toby gets out of his car I immediately run over to him and jump into his arms.

"Thank you for coming," I mumble into Toby's chest.

"Any thing for you my love," Toby replies as he lifts me up and gently sets me in his truck.

Even though he only lives five minutes away I still manage to drift off in the car. 

**_A/N:_**

**_Hello everyone! First of all I would like to thank everyone who favorited and followed this story, it means a lot to me! I hope this is not to much to ask but if you all could start reviewing that would be great! Usually reviews are what keep me motivated to write! ;)_**


	3. Dinner

Toby's POV:

"Me and the girls got into a fight, and I- I really n-need you right n-now" these are the words that made me drop everything and rush over to pick up Spencer, hearing her cry breaks my heart.

When I arrive at the school I see Spencer and I immediately rush over and hug her.

"Thank you for coming," she whimpers into my chest.

"Anything for you my love," I reply as I pick her up and set her in my truck.

As soon as Spencer gets in the car and we start to drive, Spencer falls asleep, of course we arrive to my house about 5 minutes later but she looked so peaceful, so I pick her up and bring her inside.

When I get inside, I lay Spencer down on my bed and gently take her shoes off before actually laying her under the covers, after I do this I get in the bed next to her. After about a minute of being in the bed I feel spencer cuddle up closer to me and start mumbling unknown words under her breath, I smile due to how adorable this is.

I must have fallen asleep about 30 minutes into Spencer's nap, but now it has been almost 3 hours and when I finally awake I am surprised by the fact that Spencer is still asleep. Spencer usually will sleep for about an hour but thats it, she usually is awake by now.

It is getting late so I decide to make us dinner but when I am out in the kitchen, I start to think of spencer…

She has been acting really weird lately, but maybe it is just that time of the month for her.

My thoughts are interrupted by someone wrapping their arms around my waist.

"Hello," I hear Spencer say, the sleepiness in her voice is still very apparent.

"Hey sweetie, want some dinner?" I ask her, once I ask this question I swear I see her eyes widen and she wakes up more.

Spencer's POV:

"Want some dinner?" This is the question that absolutely terrified me, if I eat I will be even fatter but if I let Toby know something is up he will never let it go!

_That is when I have an idea…_

"Umm sure," I finally agree as I look behind him to see pancakes being made, I secretly curse myself for accepting his offer, pancakes will be sure to make me gain a pound!

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Toby asks, interrupting my demonic thoughts, I look at the time and see it is 7:00, my eyes widen.

" I would love to, but I have to be home by 8:00 tonight or my parents will flip" I say truthfully, knowing that if I get home even 1 minute late there would be trouble in the Hasting's household. I shiver at the thought of even being called a Hasting's it is such a shameful name, why can't I just get married to Toby and be a Cavanaugh?

"Hey Toby, do you think we will get married one day?" I accidentally ask, _damn daydreaming is dangerous, it makes me say the stupidest things!_

" I _know_ we will get married one day Spence," Toby says as he gently grabs both of my hands and looks me in the eyes, making me smile a little.

"There is that smile that I have missed so much," Toby says basically pointing out the fact that I have been acting odd lately.

"Yup here it is," I reply as I kiss him on the lips.

A few minutes pass and we are _still_ kissing but that is interrupted by a burning sound coming from the stove.

Toby turns around and chuckles before saying "well it looks like we are going to have burnt pancakes."

I giggle as Toby takes the burnt pancakes off the oven and sets them on the table along with butter and maple syrup.

"Wow these pancakes look great!" I exclaim sarcastically as we both sit down and start making our plates.

After I take my first few bites of the pancake I feel my stomach knot up as if saying _'have fun now but your demons will return later'_ this almost makes me run to the bathroom and empty my stomach this very second but the show must go on, so I continue to eat the pancakes.

"Thank you for today Toby," I say as I lean in to hug him after I put my plate in the sink.

"Are you sure you got enough to eat baby? You only ate half of a pancake." Toby points out with concern in his voice.

"Yea I'm sure," I say as I lean my head on his chest.

After a few minutes of staying in that position I decide it is time to leave so sadly I tear away.

"I love you," I say as I walk out the door.

"Love you too Spence," I hear Toby call out to me.

When I arrive at my house it is 8:30, I walk in the door shaking knowing that both of my parents are home.

I have made it halfway to the stairs, without being noticed, when I feel someone grab my wrist.

"Why are you home so late?" I hear my father growl as I turn around to face him.

"Dad please let me go, you are hurting me!" I whimper as his grip on my wrist becomes tighter.

"I asked where you were, now answer me!" my father barks as he slams me up against the wall, knocking the breath out of me.

"I was having dinner at Toby's place," I admit to my father, feeling ashamed that I had eaten.

"Wow I am surprised you can fit any food in that fat stomach of yours," my father exclaims as he lets me go.

When I get to my room, the first thing that I do is grab my razor blades and run to the bathroom. Once I get in the bathroom, I pull my shirt up to reveal my stomach, and I start cutting my stomach. I have made about 25 cuts on my stomach before I stop and crawl over to the toilet, when I reach it I stick my fingers down my throat and release that night's dinner.

_Maybe one day I can actually be skinny._

**A/N:**

**Hey everyone, sorry for the short break I haven't had that much time to write this week.**

**Anyways I hope you are enjoying my story, and I hope you know that I am not taking this story lightly!**

**I know self harm is very dangerous and one of the reasons that I am writing this story is to prove that fact!**

**Anyways please review!**

**Thanks,**

**Mady **


	4. The knife and the night

Spencer's POV:

1 week of no eating and cutting turned into 2 weeks.

2 weeks turned into 1 month.

1 month turned into 2 months

2 months turned into 3.

And now here we are, it has been 4 months since I found my escape.

Let me catch you up on what happened during these 4 months…

Me and the girls are on civil terms, although I try my hardest to keep my distance from them, I have been rather distant from Toby due to him suspecting that something is up, my family still continues to toucher and harass me, and as of now I probably have a total of 200 cuts on my thighs and wrists.

I wake up on a sunny tuesday morning and start to get ready for school but when I get up I immediately fall back down, almost passing out, this is due to being famished. When I fell down something displeased me, I heard myself fall, so I run to the bathroom to check my weight. When I hop up onto my scale I see I weight 18 pounds! That is one more pound then I did last week, I am getting fatter! In horror I jump off the scale and run over to the toilet and continuously shove my fingers down my throat, hoping this will make me lose at least 2 pounds!

After I finish purging I decided I should get ready for school so I go and throw my favorite shirt on…

_I love the way that sounds 'my favorite shirt' ._

_I remember when I used to actually have things like favorite shirts._

_I remember my innocence._

_Oh silly girl, Spencer, none of these things matter anymore._

When I am almost finished getting dressed I hear my phone ring, I look at the caller ID and smile at who it is, I quickly click 'accept'.

"Hi,' I say quietly, excited to hear _his_ voice.

"Hey baby, do you want to ditch school today and come over?" I hear the hope in Toby's voice as he asks me this question.

"I- I would love to!" I say hesitantly at first but I am glad when I finally agree.

"Great, should I come pick you up?" Toby asks me, I can hear the smile in his voice.

"Umm I am actually in my car right now so I can drive," I tell him, just to save him the trip over here.

"Okay see you soon Spence, love you!" Toby tells me.

"Love you too," I say as I hang up.

I was about to walk out the door but when I walk past a mirror I notice an almost fatal mistake, you can clearly see my ribs through my shirt! I dart back into my closet and quickly tear off that shirt and replace it when a larger shirt that Toby once left at my house, once I am completely positive that you can not notice the difference that has changed me in the past 4 months I run out the door and drive to Toby's loft.

About 5 minutes later I arrive at Toby's loft and when I walk in I smell popcorn cooking, _oh no_, but before I can even come up with an excuse for why I cant eat I feel Toby wrapping his arms around me.

"I've missed you," I whisper as I burry my head into the crook of Toby's neck, inhaling his scent.

"I've missed you more," he says back as he quickly swipes me off of my feet and carries me into his bedroom.

"Toby put me down right now," I yell half joking and half scared, there is no way he can find out about my little secret and he will defiantly know after he feels how light I am!

"Okay," Toby simply says as he lays me down on his bed and folds the covers over me.

"I will be right back," he informs me as he turns and walks out of his room.

_Maybe he did not notice how light I was! _

When Toby enters the room again I notice he has a large bowl of popcorn in one hand and a DVD of 'Aladdin' in his other hand. I squeal when I see the movie, Aladdin is one of my favorite disney movies!

"I thought you would like this," Toby says chuckling as he puts the DVD in and then joins me in bed.

When Toby lays beside me I instinctively snuggle up close to him and lay my head on his chest.

About half way through the movie I must have fallen asleep because when I wake up it is already 9 at night, my parents are going to kill me!

"Shit," I growl under my breath as I quickly get up.

"Toby I have to go, but I had a great time today, love you!" I say as I rush outside.

When I get home I walk in the door and see my parents sitting at the counter, they look furious.

Before I can even close the door my father speaks up.

"**What the hell is this?"** My father booms as he throws a piece of paper at me.

I look at the paper, it is a printed out email from my school notifying my parents of my absence.

"I was at Toby's house today, I'm sorry" I say quietly as I bow my head down.

"**So what you are saying is that you ruined your perfect attendance record and shamed the Hastings name just for a trip to you 'good for nothing' boyfriend's house?"** My father screams at me.

Before I can even answer my parents begin to leave the room but before they get out the door my mother speaks up, "I ban you from seeing Toby," she says simply as she leaves the room.

Thats when I can take no more, Toby is my reason to live, without him I should die**, **and that is exactly what I am going to do. I quickly grab the largest butcher's knife I can find, I grab it and I run up to my room. When I am in my room I sit at my desk and I press the record button on my phone.

"Hello I am Spencer Hastings and I am killing myself tonight, I recently got the news that I am ban from seeing my everything so I have no reason to live anymore, goodbye. Oh and Toby, baby I love you so much never forget that." That is all I manage to get out in between sobs before I run into the bathroom and fall down on the floor. I am about to plunge the knife in my chest when I hear a gasp coming from the doorway.

Toby's POV

Spencer had left about 15 minutes ago, leaving me alone to think about today.

Today was great but I really am worried about spencer, I think something is seriously wrong, when I picked her up today she literally felt like she weighed 2 pounds! I suddenly get a bad feeling so I run out the door and speed over to Spencer's house. When I arrive at the Hasting's residence I see that every light is off except for Spencer's so I quietly unlock the front door with the key Spencer gave me and I tip toe up to her room.

When I get into Spencer's room I hear sobbing coming from her bathroom so I quickly run into the room without hesitation, what I see shocks me. I see my beautiful girlfriend crouched down on the ground with a knife to her chest.

"Spencer!" I gasp as I run and knock the knife out of her hand.

**A/N: Hey everyone!**

**I have a few exciting things to tell you:**

**1)** **I upgraded my iphone 4s and now I have the 5c Yay!**

**2) Today the official PLL twitter favorited my tweet! **

**Anyways I am really proud of this chapter so please leave your thought about it in the reviews and favorite and follow this story!**

**~ Mady**


	5. Comfort

Spencer's POV:

_Tick… tick… tick_

That is the only sound I hear, the sound of a clock, aside from my sobs and the beating of my heart.

As of now I am sitting on the bathroom floor about to plunge a knife into my chest and finally end my pain.

I can barley see through the tears but I know that I must look horrible, I hope they clean me up before my funeral… that is if I even have a funeral.

I doubt I will get a funeral, I mean worthless cowards don't deserve funerals right?

Before I end my pain I am hit with about a million flashbacks, all at once, all of these flashbacks go back to the days I spent tortured by my parents.

As I sit and remember these flashbacks I let their cruel words ring through my head one last time:

Fat

Ugly

Worthless

A mistake

I also remember the things they told me like how I should not be alive or how nobody would care if I died anyway, and those words and statements are what make any doubt that I may have had before go away. I pull the knife back but right when I am about to jerk it forward I feel it being hit out of my hands.

"No!" I cry in horror as I scramble to get the knife but my attempts to reach it fail due to a pair of arms being wrapped around my waist drawing me into their owners chest. I don't even have to look up to know that Toby is the one holding me, I know because not only is the scent of wood-chips and cologne _his _scent but I also know because he is the only one that would cry over this, he is the only one who cares.

"How could you!" I scream and sob in horror as I start pounding on his chest angrily, but soon I give in and end up falling forward into his loving embrace.

After sitting in silence, minus the sound of my sobbing to disturb the silence, Toby finally speaks up.

"Spencer baby why?" is all he asks, his voice breaking as he asks me.

"I-I'm worthless that's why!" I admittedly sob into his chest.

"Hey listen to me… you are not worthless okay? You are my world Spencer Hastings and you mean the world to your friends as well! Spencer without you I don't know where I would be, don't you see that you changed me? I am forever grateful that you are in my life Spencer!" Toby exclaims, with tears rolling down his cheeks, as he lifts my chin up making eye contact with me.

"But they-they think I am worthless and you know what? They are right!" I yell as I burry my head back into Toby's chest. "Please just let me die." I whisper.

"Who's they baby?" Toby asks gently.

"My family. They judge me no matter what I do and they are always calling me fat and telling me that the world would be better without me!" I admit to Toby as I begin to sob harder.

"Spencer baby everything they are saying is completely false! Nobody should be told any of those things from _anyone_ let alone their own _family_!" Toby tells me, he sounds angry, not at me but at my family.

"Well they do tell me those things and now I will have to continue to wake up everyday and hear those same comments everyday because I can't end my pain once and for all." I say bitterly.

"Spencer you can't stay here!" Toby says as he motions around the room "this environment is _not_ healthy!" he adds.

"I know this is not healthy but where do I have to go? It's not like I made a backup plan incase my family ever starts bulling me!" I cry angrily into Toby's chest.

"Spencer you can live at the loft with me. Scratch that, you _have_ to live at the loft with me." Toby tells me as he rubs his hands in small circles around my back.

"You wouldn't mind if I lived with you, I mean I might get in your way." I say quietly as I look him in the eyes.

"Spencer you are the best thing in my life, there is no way you would ever get in my way!" Toby says with a small smile forming on his face.

"Okay I guess I should start packing then." I say as I slowly get up and enter my room.

Once I am in my room I walk into my closet and pull out my suitcase and set it on my bed. I then walk back into my closet and pull out all of my long sleeved clothing articles, Toby may know about some of my secret but he doesn't know everything and if he sees my cuts he might flip!

After both Toby and I have made a few trips from my closet to my suitcase we both agree I have enough to hold me over for at lease a month. Toby carries my suitcase to the truck and by the time we are on our way to his loft my crying had quieted a tad.

I lay my head on Toby's lap as he drives to the loft and when we arrive Toby picks me up bridal style and carries me into the loft.

"But what about the suitcase?" I manage to get out, the pervious events of tonight have strained my voice.

"We can worry about that tomorrow and for your pajamas tonight you can wear something of mine." He tells me as he sets me down on his bed and walks over to his closet.

Toby was in his closet for a few minutes but when he came out I saw what he was holding and I smiled. Toby was holding the shirt that I wore when we first kissed in one hand and in the other he was holding the pants that he was wearing that day.

"I figured you would like these," he said as he set them down beside me and kissed the top of my head.

I was about to get changed but when I started to pull my shirt up I must have rubbed my cuts the wrong way, that sent a wave of horrible pain shooting through my body. I must have gasped because as soon as I did Toby was standing in front of me.

"Spencer baby are you okay?" He asked with concern dripping from his voice.

"It- it hurts to much." I cried as I motioned to my arms.

Toby quickly helped me pull my shirt off but as soon as he saw what hurt me he gasped.

"Oh Spencer," was all he could say as he pulled me into his chest and let my cry.

After about 10 minutes of crying I pulled away and quickly put on his shirt and pants.

"Do you mind if we go to bed? I'm really tired." I said as I looked up at Toby.

"Sure, I am too." He said as he picked my up and laid me at the top of his bed and put me under the covers

Once Toby turned out the lights and laid down next to me I curled up next to him and closed my eyes.

"I love you so much," Toby whispered as he started playing with my hair to help me fall asleep.

_For this first time I feel like I am loved and actually mean something. _

**A/N: **

**I am so sorry for taking forever to upload this chapter! I really wanted to show a lot of emotion in this chapter so I had to write it a few times to perfect it!**

**This has to be my favorite chapter so far so please leave your thoughts telling me what you think!**

**Just a little info: Spencer's depression is not over I promise.**

**News on new fanfic:**

**The spoby pregnancy fanfic will be made after this fanfic is done (which hopefully this fanfic will be going for a very long time!)**


	6. Baby steps

Toby's POV:

It has now been about 3 hours since I found Spencer in her room, about to kill herself.

It has now been about 3 hours since my life could have changed for the worst.

It has now been about 3 hours since my life _almost_ changed for the worst.

3 hours ago I almost lost Spencer, forever, but now here we are laying in my bed.

I cant sleep although it is 2am and I am feeling quite tired, just knowing that 3 hours ago Spencer could have died terrifies me. I doubt Spencer can sleep either but I am scared to check because if she is asleep, I don't want to wake her up.

The thought of my baby laying right next to me yet still suffering sickens me so I finally work up the strength to check to see if she is awake.

"You awake?" I whisper loud enough for her to hear if she is awake but quiet enough to not wake her up if she is asleep.

"Yea," she whispers in response, I hear the sadness in her voice.

She seems calm so I decide now is the time to ask the question that I have been wanting to ask the whole night "do you want to talk about this baby?" I ask Spencer.

"It's a really long story and I don't want to bother you," Spencer says almost _shamefully_ as she rolls over to face me.

"Spencer I love you and nothing you do will ever bother me! Plus I need to know the story before I can help you." I tell Spencer as I pull her in closer to me.

"Okay I will tell you but it's too dark in here can we go out to the living room?" Spencer asked me as she looked around the room.

"Sure," I said as I quickly picked her up bridal style and walked her to the couch in the living room.

"Ok before I start please just let me tell my full story first with no interruptions," Spencer stated making sure she made eye contact with me.

I nodded, letting her know I would not interrupt her

"It all started when I got a bad grade on my algebra test, my family found out and told me I was a mistake and I should be more like Melissa. I handled that pretty well and I didn't start punishing myself then but when I started to lose sleep because of them, thats when it got bad. I would stay up all night crying because of what they said to me so when I had another test a few weeks after my algebra one, I got a bad grade on that one as well. My family found out and harassed me even more but I just couldn't take it so that is when I turned to cutting and not eating. I went to school the next day and me and the girls got into a fight so my first instinct was to call you. When you picked me up and offered me dinner I knew I couldn't turn you down because I knew you would know something was up, so I forced myself to eat. When I got home that night it was past my curfew and my parents were furious so my dad decided the only way to find out where I was, was to slam me up against a wall and hold my wrists as tight as he could. When I told them that I was with you they called you horrible things and they even told me I was fat, so that night I turned to purging as an escape. These events continued for about 4 months, so for 4 months my only escape was by self harm, anyways what happened today was my parents found out that I had skipped school to be with you and they were beyond furious, they were so mad that they ban me from seeing you! Toby you are the only good thing in my life so when I heard my mom say that I could never see you again, I had no reason to live! I had nothing in my life that I cared about anymore so I grabbed the sharpest knife I could find and I ran up to my room. You know what comes next."

Once Spencer had completed her story she was sobbing so hard that she was shaking, so I pulled her close and held her until she calmed down.

Spencer had calmed down about 30 minutes later so I took her calmness as an opportunity to ask her a question.

"Spencer when I pick you up, you are literally as light as a feather! How much do you weigh, if you don't mind me asking?" I asked Spencer as I squeezed her hand to try to comfort her.

"Last time I checked I weighed about 18 pounds," Spencer told me as she looked down at the couch, clearly scared to make eye contact.

"Baby you need to eat, please let me cook you something." I begged Spencer, there is no way that she could continue to live like this!

"Honestly I would love something to eat, how about some pancakes?" Spencer asked with a small grin on her face.

"Anything for you my love," I said smiling as I got up off the couch and walked into the kitchen.

About 15 minutes later the pancakes were done and I was now sitting next to Spencer waiting for her to take a bite into the pancakes. I saw the hesitation in Spencer's eyes as she raised the fork and began to put a small piece of cut up pancake into her mouth.

"You can do it baby," I said gently letting her know that I would always support her.

"This tastes amazing, thank you Toby." Spencer said sincerely as she began to quickly eat the rest of the pancake.

"Your welcome, just let me know if you want more," I told Spencer as I watched her eat the pancake, this made me smile.

A few minutes had passed and I was walking into the kitchen to get Spencer more pancakes when I heard the sound of Spencer quickly running into my room. I had no clue what was happening so I quickly followed her into my room. When I entered my room I couldn't find Spencer anywhere but I soon realized where she went when I heard vomiting sounds coming from inside of my bathroom. I rushed into the bathroom to see Spencer leaning over the toilet throwing up all of the food she had just eaten. I soon realized that this time she was not forcing the food out, it was just coming out, so I ran over to her and held her hair as the rest of her stomach emptied itself.

After Spencer was done throwing up she fell back into my arms and started to cry.

"Toby I didn't force this I swear! My stomach is just not used to the food anymore!" Spencer cried into my chest as I rocked her back and forth.

"I know baby, I know. We just need to take baby steps for now." I told her as I kissed the top of her head, in attempt to calm her down.

**A/N:**

**Hey guys! I don't really have much to say the the end of this chapter so umm yea!**

**Please don't forget to review, favorite, and follow! **


	7. The day after

Spencer's POV:

I woke up the next morning in bed next to Toby. All I remember from last night was that Toby found me and I told him my story. I remember telling him my story then eating, but I could not keep the food down. Crying in the bathroom was the last memory I had of that night.

I flip my body around to see my amazing boyfriend sleeping peacefully beside me, he looks so peaceful, I know Toby needs the rest so I decide not to wake him.

I am aware that I am in need of a shower so I walk into the bathroom and turn the water on, I was about to turn on music but when I tried to unlock my phone it would not turn on. I set my phone down and went in the other room to grab a charger but I couldn't find it, I had left my phone in my room at my old house.

'Damn,' I growl under my breath as I realize I will have to go back to my old house.

After about an hour of showering and then making myself presentable for the day, I finally emerge from the bathroom. Once I am in the hallway, walking to the kitchen I feel a pair of arms being wrapped around me.

"Good morning sunshine," Toby says in his adorable morning voice.

" Good morning," I say as I turn around and hug him.

" Do you feel like doing anything today?" Toby asks as we start walking towards the kitchen.

"Sure, um actually do you mind if we stop by my old house later? I left my phone charger there." I tell Toby as I walk over and grab a banana.

"Sure, but what about running into your parents?" Toby asks sounding worried.

"They will be at work and Melissa is probably doing whatever she does in Philly." I tell Toby, adding the fact about Melissa because I knew she was his next concern.

"Okay sounds like a plan." Toby says as he sits down beside me and grabs my hand.

About 2 hours later I find myself sitting in Toby's truck going somewhere I never imagined going ever again… the Hastings' residence.

We are now in the driveway and I feel myself shake a little, Toby must have noticed this to because he spoke up.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go in and grab your charger?" he asks me kindly.

"No thanks, I know right where it is so I will only be a second." I tell Toby as I unbuckle and hop out of his truck.

I walk up to the front door and grab my key out of my pocket, I insert it into the door and enter my own personal hell. I go upstairs to my bedroom and rummage around a drawer until I find my charger and a few other things I need, right when I am about to leave I hear footsteps coming into my room.

"I told you that you didn't need to come in babe," I said assuming I was talking to Toby.

" Where were you last night Spencer Jill Hastings?" I hear both my father and mother ask me, the anger very clear in both of their voices.

I freeze in fear when I notice who is in my room, I turn around and face them, two very angry people.

"Mom… dad… why are you not at work?" I ask them trying to be as brave as possible.

"We stayed at home, usually people with a missing daughter take a few days off!" My mother snaps at me.

"Sorry I was at Toby's-" I was just about to finish my sentence when in walks Toby.

"Are you okay? You were taking a while so I came to check on you." Toby says before he notices who else is in my room.

"Oh" is all he says when he sees my parents.

"Care to tell us where you were last night?" My father growls at me.

I was about to answer when Toby butted in…

"Sir, last night Spencer tried to kill herself," Toby informs my father as he draws me in closer to him.

"Why did you do that?" My father snaps as he looks over to me, I see the anger in his eyes.

"There was so much stress put on me in the past few months and don't even get me started on your abuse." I say in a very quiet voice as I look down at the ground.

There was a long pregnant pause before my father speaks again.

"That is one of the stupidest excuses I have ever heard, for god's sake Spencer YOU ARE A HASTINGS." My father barks at me.

My father begins to scare me so I hold Toby even closer.

"Sir, I don't think you understand Spencer could have _died_ last night." Toby explains calmly to my father.

"I do understand and that is so selfish and cowardly of her, I wish you had died Spencer!" My father screams as he walks up and slaps me straight across the face.

I can't take this anymore, I burry my head into Toby's neck as I begin to cry. I was expecting that after that we would leave but that was not the case, Toby gently sets me on my bed then he walks up to my father.

"You listen here, Spencer is a precious human being and you have no right to treat her like a piece of shit! Spencer has saved me and she means the world to me, she clearly does not need you in her life! Father's are supposed to always be there for their children not treat them like this! You may call Spencer worthless but that sir is not the case because the only worthless people in this room are you and Veronica!" Toby snaps as he begins to get in my father's face.

The last thing I need is Toby going to jail for assault so I get up and step between Toby and my father.

"Come on baby, we can leave now." I tell Toby as I wipe away another tear that falls down my cheek.

Toby stands there for a minute but he finally gently grabs my hand and we start to walk to the door. Once we are in the hallway I stop and turn around, realizing my mother has barely said anything this whole time.

"Do you have anything to say about this mom?" I ask my mother as I look her straight in the eyes.

"Goodbye Spencer," is all she says.

I feel a lump in my throat being to rise as I turn around an start walking to the door.

Toby and I are now out the door but on our way to the truck Melissa walks past us in a hurry to get inside.

"Bitch," I hear her mutter under her breath.

Toby was about to say something but I stop him.

"Babe don't worry about her," I say as I place one hand on his chest.

Once Toby and I are back on the road I lay my head against the window and begin to cry.

"Thank you for standing up for me today, nobody has ever done that for me." I say as I look over at Toby.

"Anything for you princess," Toby says as he grabs my hand.

Toby continues to drive but oddly enough, we pass the road to the loft.

"Toby we missed the turn," I tell him as I look behind me.

" I know, I have a surprise for you." Toby tells me as he continues driving.

"Cool," I say before going quiet.

About 15 minutes later Toby informs me that we are where he was taking me, I look out the window and immediately smile knowing where we are. Toby gets out of the truck and walks over to my door and helps me out.

"Stay right here, I have to get a few things." Toby says as he walks to the drivers side of the truck.

I stay where I am and listen as Toby grabs the things out of his truck and then walks behind the truck. I still do not understand what he is doing when I hear the back of the truck being opened. I stay where Toby told me to and ponder on what was going on until he calls for me. When I walk over to him I see pillows and blankets set up on the bed of his truck, the view was overlooking Rosewood and it was beautiful.

"I know we both come here to clear our minds so I figured we both need a trip here." Toby tells me as he lifts me up and sets me on the bed of the truck.

"Thank you Toby, for everything." I say as he settles in beside me.

"No need to thank me sweetheart," he says as he wraps me up in his arms.

I lay my head on Toby's chest and take in the scenery for a few minutes before Toby speaks up again.

"You know what I want you to know? That you are never alone, not even for a second." Toby tells me as he plants a loving kiss on the top of my head.

I turn my head around so I am facing Toby and I kiss him with all the passion I have.

"Thank you Toby, I honestly have no idea where I would be without you. Toby Cavanaugh you are my world, my everything, my rock and I love you so much." I say as I look him straight in the eye and kiss him again.

"Spencer Jill Hastings I love you more then words can express. You saved me from a dark time in my life and turned me into something new and I intend to do the same for you. I never thought I could love after my mother's death but when you came around, you proved to me I could and I love you so much for that." Toby tells me as he hugs me tight.

**A/N: Finally! A new chapter! Anyways thank you so much to the guest that goes by 'spoby' for giving me the idea to add the line from the 100****th**** episode in here! **

**Anyways guys I have a few other fanfic ideas so keep your eyes out for them!**

**Please review/follow/favorite **

**Xx**

**Mady **


	8. Demons

**Warning this chapter is a dark chapter! **

Spencer's POV:

It is about noon and Toby and I have just arrived home from our night under the stars. I am in a hurry to get ready because the girls will be over in less then an hour, Toby has finally talked me into telling them what happened. As I am applying my makeup a familiar felling overwhelms me, it is a foreboding feeling of hopelessness and darkness. It is the feeling of depression. It is the feeling of -A.

For the past few days Toby has been coddling me and protecting me from my demons but that all must come to an end. I can not be protected from myself, I am hopeless, I can not be protected from the darkness inside. Thats when I remember the razors I had brought over from my old house, if only I can remember where I left the bag they are in. I think of all the places I could have left the bag but I soon realize it is most likely in Toby's truck. I feel like I might explode if I can not be in control of myself any longer, so I sprint to the door.

"I'll be right back!" I call to Toby as I rush out the door.

Once I have the bag in my possession I go back inside the loft and quickly prepare for what I am going to do next.

Toby is in the shower so I take this as an opportunity to quickly pack a bag of clothing and write a note, once I have done both of those things I grab the keys to my car and leave Toby's loft.

To be honest, I have no idea what I am doing but all I know is that I need to get away from all this fake love and support and go somewhere where I can realize the piece of crap I actually am. I think about going back home, but I know that is where Toby and the girls will check first, so I decide to find a nice hotel somewhere far away from Rosewood.

Once I am a few miles out of Rosewood I notice that I have been crying, I don't know why I'm sad about leaving because by doing this I am helping everyone. I will no longer be around to drag people down with my problems so that has to make everyone happier, right?

I notice that I am almost out of gas so I stop to refill my tank but right when I am about to drive again, I get a text…

**Good girl,**

**You made the right choice leaving Rosewood.**

**As a reward go to the 'Wooden Maroon' hotel a few miles away from where you are now.**

**I have rented you a room under the name 'Shelby Burke'**

**Enjoy your stay!**

**-A**

I know I should be suspicious of 'A's' motives but at this point, I do not care what happens to me, I would rather be dead. 

It takes me a few hours but I finally find the hotel 'A' is sending me to, once I check in I head straight to room 107.

Once I am in my room, I grab my razors, and run into the bathroom. I suppose tonight I would be playing the number game.

I quickly pull out a razor blade and slice it across my skin, sighing with relief, _I have truly missed this._

I drag the blade across my wrist a second time, _this cut is for being worthless._

A second time turns into a third, _this cut is for letting someone in on my little secret._

The third time turns into a forth, _this one is for bugging Toby with my stupid problems._

The fifth, sixth, seventh, and eight times are all for the same reason, _these are for eating everything that I have eaten in the past few days._

Finally I slice my wrist's vertically, I do this five times, _these are for still being alive._

Once I am done slicing my wrists I just sit there numbly, watching the blood drip from my wrists. Slowly a sick smile creeps across my face…

_There is no one here to save me this time._

After about 10 minutes of watching my blood flow out of me I slowly crawl over to the toilet and stick my fingers down my throat.

The first time is for that pancake I had with Toby.

The second time is for that banana I had for breakfast a few days ago.

The third time is because I need to be skinny.

The forth time is because I do not look like the girl's on magazine covers.

The fifth time is because I am selfish and pathetic, after all I did bring everybody down by sharing my problems with them!

The sixth time is a punishment for all the food I have eaten.

The seventh time is because I want to be dead.

After I am finally done purging and cutting, I decide to end this once and for all. I walk over to the chair my bag is sitting on and I grab the knife I had brought with me.

_Spencer Jill Hastings, all you do is bring your friends down. You bug them with your constant problems, and you actually let your lover take care of you! Don't you understand that you are worthless and do not deserve to be taken care of! Spencer nobody loves you, not even Toby! Poor Toby, he was only pretending to love you so he did not have do deal with being questioned after your death! You know the world would be so much better without you, its a fact! _

Those are the last things I think before I plunge the knife into my stomach and smile as the darkness finally consumes me.

**Toby's POV:**

**Toby,**

**Today I have chosen to run away, I have been putting my demons off for too long and it is now time that I face them. I am so sorry that I ever bothered you with my problems, but now you will not have to worry about me or them. Please Toby move on and find someone who you deserve, not some pathetic person like me! By the time you are reading this I will be gone, please do not come and look for me. If I am being completely honest, I will admit that even thought the past few days have been lovely I have still been faced by my demons, I guess they never really go away. I can not stand living in a world where I drag everybody down, I would rather be with my demons and be somewhere I belong. Toby I am afraid that we will never meet again so goodbye my love. **

**Goodbye Toby I will always love you.**

**Spencer **

I must have read this note over a thousand times and now I am pacing around the loft, trying to figure out where Spencer could be right now. I am constantly running into things as I pace back in forth due to not being able to see with all of the tears that are in my eyes.

I was about to inform the police on what had happened when my phone started buzzing. I ran over to it, hoping Spencer would be on the other end, but sadly that was not the case.

"Hello?" I said when I picked up the phone, I did not recognize the number that was calling.

"Toby please come to the hospital as soon as possible, we have Spencer." This is all Wren says before he hangs up the phone.

Without thinking I grab my keys and rush out the door.

**A/N: Hey everybody! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Sorry I have not been active, I was grounded so I did not have my phone or laptop (eww) **

**Anyways I hope you like this chapter, please review/favorite/ and follow if you did! **

** Tomorrow is my best friend's birthday and she is coming over for a sleepover and stuff so I wont be on tomorrow! **

**I do have to say I am really busy and I will be even busier when school starts to I have decided to not write on a schedule on to write on my own time, please forgive me for this! **

**Another thing I have to tell you is that my dad and I are thinking about going to the book convention in new york city next year for my birthday and I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED! I have never been to new york city and I have always wanted to go so that will be fun!**

**Make sure to follow me on my twitter so you can know what I am up to and if I am writing!**

**Twitter: Ikissedmady **

**Sorry for the long authors note!**

**Xox**

**Mady **


	9. Hospital (Last real chapter)

Toby's POV:

I arrived at the hospital and now I am nervously pacing back and forth in the waiting room, waiting for Spencer to come out of surgery. In the waiting room with me are all of the girls and Spencer's parents. The only reason Veronica and Peter are here is because they had to be present in order for Spencer to be able to have the surgery.

"Toby will you come over here for a minute?" Veronica calls from where she and her husband are waiting by the exit, I do not have the energy to disobey, so I walk over to them.

"What do you want?" I ask as soon as I am facing both of them, I was hoping they were there to apologize but I was wrong.

"Please make sure she _never_ does this again," Peter Hastings begs me.

"Why do you suddenly care about her?" I ask them, knowing there had to be a catch.

"Oh Toby don't you see? It is our reputation we care about." Veronica harshly states.

I was about to say something but luckily I was interrupted by a doctor.

"Are you here for Spencer Hastings?" A young man asks us.

"Yes, I am. Is she okay?" I ask the doctor, completely leaving Veronica and Peter out of this.

"Yes, in fact she is awake and ready for visitors now. She is in room 207." After hearing this news I run down the hall looking for room 207.

Once I find her room, I gently knock on the door.

"Come in," I hear a weak voice call from inside the room.

I quickly open the door and walk in the room, I am devastated by what I see. Spencer is laying on the hospital bed with tons of needles in her arms, I see her eyes are bloodshot from crying. Once Spencer sees me she turns her body away from me.

"Spencer please look at me," I quietly beg, I can barley hold back my tears.

"Look I'm sorry, trust me I did not plan to wake up tonight in a hospital." Spencer tells me in a raspy voice.

"Did you plan to wake up at all? Or were you just content with going straight to your grave?" I ask her rather harshly.

I get no response from Spencer all I get are a few sniffles.

I sigh realizing that I may have been a little too harsh "I'm sorry baby it's just hard knowing that I have almost lost you twice." I say as I gently set my hand on her back.

"Don't you see Toby? You have already lost me! It was not your fault for losing me, it was my own! Please Toby do not give me any sympathy, just leave me and go find someone who actually deserves you!" Spencer finally faces me and this is what she says.

"Baby I know you feel lost right now, and I know you think it is your fault but it's not! Please just let me help you find yourself!" I beg Spencer as I grab her hand.

"Toby don't waste your time, if I do find myself it will take a long time." Spencer says with a sigh.

"Spencer time spent with you is defiantly not time wasted! I promise you I will be with you every step of the way. I _love you_ Spencer!" I tell her, looking at her with pleading eyes.

"I- I love you to baby, but I can't risk your life!" Spencer cries.

"What do you mean sweetie?" I ask her, confused as to why my life would be in danger.

All Spencer does is hand my her phone, I look at it and am shocked by what I see.

**Your death won't be that easy! **

**-A **

**"**Spence, what does this mean?" I ask her, does this mean she is in danger again?

"It means that 'A' saved me, it means that 'A' was actually touching me, it means that me and everyone I know could be in danger again!" Spencer snaps, I can tell she is stressed out over this.

"Spencer please don't let 'A' break us up! Please let me help you fight them!" I beg her with tears in my eyes.

"Okay… but can we not talk about this anymore, it's stressing me out." Spencer says as she lays her head down on her pillow.

"Of course, now get some rest and hopefully you can come home soon." I tell Spencer as I kiss her on her forehead.

"One last thing, will you stay in here with me?" Spencer asks me, I can tell she is scared.

"Nothing can make me leave this room," I tell her as she closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep.

**A/N: Hey everyone!**

**I am really sorry for this horrible chapter! **

**Anyways…**

**This is the last real chapter in this fanfiction! The next chapter will be the epilogue and I have a feeling a lot of you will like that ;)**

**Basically the epilogue will tie many lose end together and maybe end this story on a happy note… **

**Thank you for reading this fanfic honestly I did not expect for it to go this far, it was only supposed to last a few chapters! **

**I have maybe 2 or 3 other full fanfics that I will be starting on as soon as I am done with this one ;) **

**Xoxo**

**Mady**


	10. Epilogue

"About five years ago, I was in the darkest place I could ever be. Five years ago I was clinically diagnosed with depression. Five years ago I tried to take my life multiple times.

If we were to travel back in time and meet my 18 year old self, and ask her 'what will you be doing in 5 years time?' She probably would have told you she would be graduating from U-penn and she probably would have smiled, but if you looked close enough you could see how forced that smile actually was. This girl that I once knew was so caught up with being perfect, just to impress her family, that during everything she lost herself.

I can remember the exact day I lost myself as if it were yesterday… I had gotten in a fight with my parents and some horrible things were said. I remember how hopeless I had felt. These feelings had lasted forever, in my opinion, and the only thing that kept me going was the amazing Toby Cavanaugh. One day something had happened and I was ban from seeing Toby, thats when I felt I had lost my battle. I remember the pain I felt, and I remember how done I was in that moment. You see, Toby was- no _is_ my rock and without him my life had no meaning. Toby will always be my light at the end of the tunnel, and I am proud to say that Toby will always be my savior. Anyways… I remember that night as I ran up to my bathroom and I was about to do it, I was about to let go, but right when I was about to end it all the knife was pushed from my hands.

At that time, I thought that was the worst thing that could have possibly have happened to me, but now… my god I am so happy this man saved my life.

Now we will skip forward a few weeks.

A few weeks later and I was beginning to feel better, but one day I had this feeling. The feeling of hopelessness had returned to my body.

That same day, I had shut down, and I had blocked everyone that was important to me out. That same day, I was almost successful at taking my own life.

The next thing I remember was waking up at the hospital, I remember how disappointed I was with myself.

Anyways…

A few weeks later I was discharged from the hospital, but it was as if I had left with more problems. During the midst of everything, I had begun to get terrible nightmares every night. I would also like to mention that I am still haunted by these nightmares, to this day. I can still remember waking up screaming, crying, and thrashing around every night and you know what? Toby was always right there to calm me down and hold me until I came back into reality.

"I don't care how many sleepless nights we will have or how many demons I will have to help you fight, I will always love you Spencer!"

To this day, this sentence that Toby had said to me still remains etched inside my brain, the reason? This sentence was one of the most thoughtful things that anyone had ever said to me!

It has taken five years for me to realize that there was nothing wrong with me, no there was something wrong with my environment. This thought never occurred to me when I was 18, but it sure as hell makes sense to me now!

Long story short, Toby Cavanaugh you have most defiantly saved me from myself and I am so excited to finally say that I am your wife!"

These are the words that I used in my vows to my husband Toby Cavanaugh.

"Bye! Thanks for coming everyone!" I yelled out the window of the limo Toby and I were now taking to the Edgewood Motor Court, the place where we had our first kiss.

Once the window was rolled up, I let out a sigh of relief.

"Long day?" Toby asked with a boyish smirk on his face.

"More like the best day ever, husband!" I said in a sing-songy voice, a huge smile appearing on my face when I said the word husband.

"So how does it feel to be Mrs. Cavanaugh?" Toby asked me.

"Words can not describe how happy I am to be Mrs. Cavanaugh!" I exclaimed as I leaned my head on Toby's shoulder.

I must have fallen asleep because my next memory is Toby waking me up to get changed. Once I have changed and join Toby in the bed, I let out a small giggle.

"It's amazing how the last time we were in this room we were not even a couple yet." I said in a whisper.

"We have been through so much, and through it all I never stopped loving you." Toby told me as he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close.

"Thank you." This was all I could manage to say to Toby.

"Why are you thanking me Spence?" Toby asked me.

"Toby when I say that you have said the nicest things anyone has ever said to me, I mean it. During the 18 years I had lived with my parents, I had never heard anything that nice come out of their mouthes, that was directed towards me. I have only known you for about 7 years and you have given me more love then my parents ever had!" I tell Toby, at this point tears are falling down my cheeks.

"Spencer baby, I wish I could have been there for you more, but please listen to me when I say that I love you so much! I don't know how your parents managed to treat you so horribly. You deserve the world sweetheart and I intend to give you just that!" These are the words that Toby said to me as he gently wiped away my tears.

With that, I lay my head on his chest and close my eyes. This life is amazing and all it took was Toby Cavanaugh for me to realize that.

**A/N: Hey everyone!**

**Ok so this is the end to my fanfic! Thank you all for reading and letting me have this amazing experience! Honestly I can remember starting this at the beginning of summer, wow! **

**Anyways!**

**Okay so as some of you may know I just started 8****th**** grade and I am super busy! I am going to try to start a new fanfic soon but I really am only free on weekends! **

**Go follow me on twitter to see when I am writing: Troiansdarling**

**Xoxo Mady**


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